dynasty travel: Ha Ha, You're The Old Maid ? Jumping in Mud Puddles

Maybe it?s just me, but isn?t the card game, Old Maid, just a little politically incorrect these days? I mean, I couldn?t care less, but aren?t we making fun of an?older lady who has never married or had children? The shame. Another name for an old maid is a ?spinster.

The card game has been around for many, many years. The origins of Old Maid trace back to the 17th century. It started off as a gambling game, where the loser had to buy drinks, because it got stuck holding the last card. The old maid. The woman who was depicted as a frumpy, bird or cat owner, who wore glasses and a very ugly hat.

The game begins?with players trying to form pairs out of all of their cards until someone?the loser?is left with the lonely,?spinster old maid.

I remember playing Old Maid. I played it often, along with Go Fish and War. But, Old Maid, sort of made me sad, because of what my mom told me one time when we were playing.

?Did you know that your Aunt Elizabeth was an Old Maid??? I just looked at her. I really didn?t understand what was going on. I mean, I was playing a freaking card game. I was a kid. I never gave it a thought back in circa 1964 that the card with a sweet old lady was my Aunt Elizabeth.

I honestly thought that an old maid was a woman who was like a nanny. She cleaned and took care of people?s homes, like a maid. But, she was more than a house cleaner. She was like a grandma. And that?s what an old maid was. But, my mom was obviously going to explain to me something completely different, I feared. And I really didn?t want to hear it.

?Aunt Elizabeth was supposed to marry someone when she was younger. He was a soldier and he never came home from the war.?

I just looked at her.

?Was she mad at him??

My mom was confused. ?No. Why would she be mad at him??

?Because he never came home. Where did he go to live then??? Legitimate question coming from the skinny girl on the other side of the table.

Well, my mom explained it to me, and I just really didn?t want to finish the game after I heard the whole story. I made an excuse, and went into my room and cried. Poor Aunt Elizabeth. She lived all the way out in Spokane Washington, and I had only met her a few times, but the story was so sad. She used to send letters to my mom and would always include a clipping of the comic strip, ?Family Circus.?

So, I haven?t been happy with the whole ?Old Maid? game after that. The next time someone wanted to play, I took a deck of my dad?s regular cards and took the jokers out and left one in so it didn?t have a match. There. That was our new Old Maid.

Over the years, I always came in contact with an old maid or two. The character of Miss Havisham, in? Charles Dicken?s, ?Great Expectations.? was an old maid. She hung out in the reception hall, clad in her wedding dress, sitting at the table with the ever so old cake, still on the table. That freaked me out. Especially when rats were involved.

The song, Delta Dawn, by Helen Reddy, was about a woman who was walking around with a suitcase, waiting for the guy who dumped her. She was an old maid, but she was also crazy as a loon, just like Miss Havisham. She walked around Brownsville with a faded rose from days gone by.

And Wikipedia mentions ?famous spinsters.? Can you believe it? Some mentioned are are Susan B. Anthony, Ann Coulter, (which cracked me up for some odd reason), Condalezza Rice, Emily Dickinson, Florence Nightingale, Greta Garbo, Louisa May Alcott, Emily Bronte, and Jane Austen. Sound like all strong, independent women to?me.

My favorite ?spinster? is Miss Prissy Hen, ?from the Foghorn Leghorn cartoon, although there is some mention of her maybe being a widow. Nevertheless, they dress her in an ugly hat and put?glasses on her, just like the Old Maid picture on the playing card. Well, except that she is a bird.

When George Bailey, in It?s a Wonderful Life, sees his life?like he wasn?t born, he runs into Mary, the librarian, who is an? old maid.

Bette Davis, played an old maid in the movie, The Old Maid.

So, I was thinking, why not change the whole ?Old Maid? scenario to ?Old Geezer??? There are a lot of men who never get married or have children. I think it is time to make fun of them for a change. This Old Maid crap has been going on too long. So, let?s get a picture of a guy who will fit the part. How about?..Mr. Burns?

You know, I don?t know the answer. When my kids were little, we played Old Maid. It was just a game. My kids never wondered about the name or what the hell it meant.

My mom just pisses me off.